Print ArticleAdolescence seems difficult, as it entails the transformation between childhood and adulthood. Yet they have not yet learned many of the important tools that help them solve the problems of adult responsibility and pursue goals and opportunities. Nor do they even perceive problems in their full complexity, or recognize the innumerable opportunities all around them, or have an adequate insight into their talents and values that underlie goal formation. This paper is an attempt to help the adolescent understand certain fundamental tools that may place them confidently on the path toward competency formation and eventual aggregation of a comprehensive basket of tools for living. I will use the term Tools to include skills, knowledge and experience that are reasonably mastered. For reasons that become apparent, below, one cannot simply give this document to a grandchild and expect them to understand it. It should be taught verbally, then give them the document.
Foremost, you are unique:
No one has your particular talents, emotional and intellectual makeup. Yet, it´s not easy to identify these qualities in yourself. More to the point, they unfold over time, and they evolve as we begin to test and exercise our special abilities, many of which surprise us at some later date. Formal schooling represents a scheduled and controlled development of abilities, but we need to be patient with ourselves, even as parents and society may not.
Life is about coping with never ending problems and opportunities.
Resolving problems and pursuing opportunities requires a variety of skills and knowledge – competencies – which I call Tools. There are Tools for every experience, every problem, and every opportunity:
Relationship tools
Schooling tools
Occupational tools
Health tools
Leisure tools
Maturation tools
Understand that these tools are not independent of each other. Aerobic exercise, as a "health tool" is an energy generating system that increases energy for all goals and experiences. Reading and study skills support all life dimensions because experts available to us in books can provide us with knowledge and skills for the resolution of all problems, all opportunities.
The simplest to the most complicated problems entail Tools:
For example, if you want to drive a nail into a board you could use a rock. You immediately know that that´s not the best tool. So the effectiveness of tools is markedly unequal. O course, a better tool is a hammer, and a little reflection tells you that there are poor hammers and better hammers, and that some hammers work best for certain tasks, others for other tasks. You also can see that even an effective and appropriate hammer is not sufficient – that you have to practice.
You might practice on your own for a while, yet still only achieve mediocre skill. The sensible thing is to find a good teacher. Any experienced journeyman carpenter can probably give you effective lessons on driving a nail, but some are outstanding teachers of the use of such tools. Teachers are markedly unequal. Mentors are markedly unequal, courses are unequal, and books are unequal. Seek the best teachers, even though you may have to take a little trouble to find them. [One way, a very good way, is to ask someone who should know.]
Complex competencies are composed of many simple tools:
If you know how to hammer a nail competently, this does not mean you can build a house, though you certainly can help build a house. There are hundreds of small skills and knowledge involved in building a house. For example, the Tool (skill) of reading a blueprint is necessary for most. It takes more time to learn it (roughly one quarter at a community college or technical school, or tutoring on a website). The Tool of creating blueprints for houses is far more difficult (perhaps 4 to 5 years at a university or years of experience as a carpenter.) Nevertheless, designing a home is just a set of simple Tools (skills and knowledge). All complex Tools (skills) consist of simple Tools. They are like eating an elephant – one bite at a time. Complex professions, such as engineering, law, and medicine appear overwhelming partly because we don´t see them as a collection of simple Tools. Additionally, when we possess very few of these skills we think we are not up to the task, or that we may not have the intellectual capability to master them. The answer to this lack of confidence is to master the simple tools one at a time.
Differences in talent:
We are all different, at a given moment, in various kinds of intelligence, emotional IQ, drive, tenacity, physical qualities, etc. Consequently, some are able to master certain tools quickly, and others may take more time. An article in Scientific American claimed that difference in IQ represent just differences in speed of understanding. But it is untrue that our talents are simply inherited, and that´s that. All capabilities, skills, knowledge – even intelligence – are changing throughout life, and these changes can be accelerated dramatically. Neuroscientists (study brain) have discovered that the brain is very plastic (meaning can be changed, developed). We have roughly 10 trillion connections between the cells, and as we learn a new Tools these form new connections. We create the capabilities of our brain by exercising it on new tools. We are the creators of our mental competencies.
By the time you are 16 you have mastered a number of complex Tools.
You learned a language, some of you two languages. Some have mastered musical instruments and musical notation, and perhaps learned to play synergistically [look it up, that´s a valuable skill too] in a band. Some of you have mastered certain sports. Most of you have learned to drive a car, a very complex physical and intellectual skill. You learned these because you were very interested – such Tools met goals that were very important to you. Your motivation is directly related to your values. You express these values as specific goals (drive a car), and once mastered you discover new values and new goals. Humans are learning, goal-seeking animals.
Tools are dramatically different in importance and power:
All tools are helpful. I am thankful I can build small, attractive tables, though moderately skilled. But I also know how to manage the construction of large buildings, even though I have minimal carpenter skills. Driving nails is moderately useful to a homeowner, and vitally necessary to a carpenter. More important, and universally useful, are learning the skills of conversation, the more complex relational skills of creating solid friendships, collaboration at work, and managing people. Some skills have very limited application – such as how to hang a picture. Conversational skills are used every day of your life. Vastly more important is that a few vital skills, vital Tools, can help you with every problem and opportunity in your life. One of these vital Tools is how to read a paragraph. If you know how to read a paragraph with a high level of skill (very, very few do), you can access knowledge on every subject, skill, and Tool. Learning this Tool is within the capability of everyone, but you must have the right teacher (perhaps a book).
The best teachers: Knowing how to find the right and best teacher is just as vital a skill as reading because teachers are very unequal in their skill of teaching. If you wanted to learn economics compare these teachers:
1. Your sister or best friend.
2. You neighbor, who may have graduated from some college.
3. A person in your neighborhood who majored in economics from Harvard, or comparable school.
4. A community college instructor of economics who has a master´s degree in economics.
5. A university professor with a Ph.D. (doctorate) in economics.
A university professor with a Ph.D., and who has also have extensive experience in business and government
6. The writer of the text on economics that the professor uses in his classes.
7. The economics specialist who is the most referenced in a number of text books on economics.
8. A Nobel Prize winner in economics (all of whom write books on this subject).
Levels of understanding Tools (levels of knowledge:
Level One: You don´t know you don´t know. [Unconscious incompetence]. Example: Playing Lacrosse looks like it might be fun.
Level Two: You know you don´t know. [Conscious incompetence]. You are invited to play in a Lacrosse team, and you experience the first game.
Level Three: You know you know. [Conscious competence]. A coach teaches you the fundamentals of the game and the rules, but you have to think the instructions as you play. This stage may last several years as you evolve from conscious play to unconscious play, depending on the complexity of the skill.
Level Four: You know so well you don´t have to think about many aspects of it, just as after you have driven a car for a year or two. [Unconscious competence]. You have played for years and most actions are automatic. One still accumulates more skill for many years in playing complex games, or in other life skills, such as conversation, or reading, or managing, or observation, or raising children.
Most adolescents are at Level One in the vast majority of Tools. So are many adults. Therefore, there is a great need for mentors to lead them toward Level Two, at which time they may be ready for instruction. Or, life confronts them with problems that shock them into awareness that they have been in Level One, and are in urgent need to move to Level Three.
All problems and goals are actually simple:
Life may seem difficult, but we breathe one breath at a time; to build a house we hammer one nail at a time, one brick at a time. Our problems look like mountains because we see and feel them in their entirety. But if we need or wish to scale a mountain we only do it one step at a time. If it´s sport we think it´s easy and enjoy every moment; whereas if we are forced by circumstance to climb the mountain to reach a desired destination we experience it as an arduous journey. But all life is just this moment, passing into a series of moments. All goals are attained just one step at a time. To attain a college degree we just read one chapter, or listen to a lecture – one at a time. As we gather useful Tools these goals and problems and opportunities [they´re the same] become easier and more enjoyable.
Sadness is normal:
We don´t always have to "feel good now." Sadness is a legitimate expression that our life is as yet incomplete, or unfulfilled, or that we are not living up to our capabilities, values and goals. But our life is always incomplete until we have completed it – death. Meanwhile we must live it as best we can. Partly we are sad because we desire too much – man is a wanting animal – we want our way, and we want more. But the truth is, we don´t have to have our way, and we really don´t need more. Think seriously about just preferring these things, and your angst and sadness will evolve into tranquility. Understand that all of us are limited, that we all need relationships to become more complete, to share our lives with others through giving and receiving.
Power (coping, influencing, achieving) derives from knowledge, skills [Tools] and character.
Power is the ability to achieve our goals. Character is commitment to the right goals. Skills and knowledge are Tools for getting things done. Character is getting the right things done. Character derives from possession of the virtues – such as trustworthiness (honesty), tenacity, courage [engagement], compassion, and wisdom. Character is revered above all qualities, and will draw all to its presence. Study the qualities of Gandhi and you will begin to understand the power of character.
The Road to maturity begins with a decision:
The decision is simple in concept and difficult in execution. You have three choices that will determine the daily conduct, and quality, of your life:
1. To be constructive
2. To be destructive
3. To watch the world go by
Choice number 1 is taking charge of your life in ways that will be beneficial to you and to others. It requires discipline and thoughtfulness. Included in this decision in the assimilation of Tools and the virtues. Though it appears demanding a constructive life is balanced with work, play, leisure, education, and time for developing relationships. It is a whole life.
Summary:
You achieve your life goals, solve problems, and pursue opportunities by master of Tools (skills and knowledge).
Complex Tools consist of simple tools.
The value of Tools is very unequal.
Two of the most valuable Tools are reading (as a paragraph), and finding the best teacher.
You acquire tools by observation, asking the best teachers, and master of the skill of reading.
Problems, opportunities and goals are simple – one step at a time.
Sadness and anxiety are reduced by choosing preferring over demanding.
Power derives from Tools and character.
A rewarding life entails the choice to live constructively.
Foremost, you are unique:
No one has your particular talents, emotional and intellectual makeup. Yet, it´s not easy to identify these qualities in yourself. More to the point, they unfold over time, and they evolve as we begin to test and exercise our special abilities, many of which surprise us at some later date. Formal schooling represents a scheduled and controlled development of abilities, but we need to be patient with ourselves, even as parents and society may not.
Life is about coping with never ending problems and opportunities.
Resolving problems and pursuing opportunities requires a variety of skills and knowledge – competencies – which I call Tools. There are Tools for every experience, every problem, and every opportunity:
Relationship tools
Schooling tools
Occupational tools
Health tools
Leisure tools
Maturation tools
Understand that these tools are not independent of each other. Aerobic exercise, as a "health tool" is an energy generating system that increases energy for all goals and experiences. Reading and study skills support all life dimensions because experts available to us in books can provide us with knowledge and skills for the resolution of all problems, all opportunities.
The simplest to the most complicated problems entail Tools:
For example, if you want to drive a nail into a board you could use a rock. You immediately know that that´s not the best tool. So the effectiveness of tools is markedly unequal. O course, a better tool is a hammer, and a little reflection tells you that there are poor hammers and better hammers, and that some hammers work best for certain tasks, others for other tasks. You also can see that even an effective and appropriate hammer is not sufficient – that you have to practice.
You might practice on your own for a while, yet still only achieve mediocre skill. The sensible thing is to find a good teacher. Any experienced journeyman carpenter can probably give you effective lessons on driving a nail, but some are outstanding teachers of the use of such tools. Teachers are markedly unequal. Mentors are markedly unequal, courses are unequal, and books are unequal. Seek the best teachers, even though you may have to take a little trouble to find them. [One way, a very good way, is to ask someone who should know.]
Complex competencies are composed of many simple tools:
If you know how to hammer a nail competently, this does not mean you can build a house, though you certainly can help build a house. There are hundreds of small skills and knowledge involved in building a house. For example, the Tool (skill) of reading a blueprint is necessary for most. It takes more time to learn it (roughly one quarter at a community college or technical school, or tutoring on a website). The Tool of creating blueprints for houses is far more difficult (perhaps 4 to 5 years at a university or years of experience as a carpenter.) Nevertheless, designing a home is just a set of simple Tools (skills and knowledge). All complex Tools (skills) consist of simple Tools. They are like eating an elephant – one bite at a time. Complex professions, such as engineering, law, and medicine appear overwhelming partly because we don´t see them as a collection of simple Tools. Additionally, when we possess very few of these skills we think we are not up to the task, or that we may not have the intellectual capability to master them. The answer to this lack of confidence is to master the simple tools one at a time.
Differences in talent:
We are all different, at a given moment, in various kinds of intelligence, emotional IQ, drive, tenacity, physical qualities, etc. Consequently, some are able to master certain tools quickly, and others may take more time. An article in Scientific American claimed that difference in IQ represent just differences in speed of understanding. But it is untrue that our talents are simply inherited, and that´s that. All capabilities, skills, knowledge – even intelligence – are changing throughout life, and these changes can be accelerated dramatically. Neuroscientists (study brain) have discovered that the brain is very plastic (meaning can be changed, developed). We have roughly 10 trillion connections between the cells, and as we learn a new Tools these form new connections. We create the capabilities of our brain by exercising it on new tools. We are the creators of our mental competencies.
By the time you are 16 you have mastered a number of complex Tools.
You learned a language, some of you two languages. Some have mastered musical instruments and musical notation, and perhaps learned to play synergistically [look it up, that´s a valuable skill too] in a band. Some of you have mastered certain sports. Most of you have learned to drive a car, a very complex physical and intellectual skill. You learned these because you were very interested – such Tools met goals that were very important to you. Your motivation is directly related to your values. You express these values as specific goals (drive a car), and once mastered you discover new values and new goals. Humans are learning, goal-seeking animals.
Tools are dramatically different in importance and power:
All tools are helpful. I am thankful I can build small, attractive tables, though moderately skilled. But I also know how to manage the construction of large buildings, even though I have minimal carpenter skills. Driving nails is moderately useful to a homeowner, and vitally necessary to a carpenter. More important, and universally useful, are learning the skills of conversation, the more complex relational skills of creating solid friendships, collaboration at work, and managing people. Some skills have very limited application – such as how to hang a picture. Conversational skills are used every day of your life. Vastly more important is that a few vital skills, vital Tools, can help you with every problem and opportunity in your life. One of these vital Tools is how to read a paragraph. If you know how to read a paragraph with a high level of skill (very, very few do), you can access knowledge on every subject, skill, and Tool. Learning this Tool is within the capability of everyone, but you must have the right teacher (perhaps a book).
The best teachers: Knowing how to find the right and best teacher is just as vital a skill as reading because teachers are very unequal in their skill of teaching. If you wanted to learn economics compare these teachers:
1. Your sister or best friend.
2. You neighbor, who may have graduated from some college.
3. A person in your neighborhood who majored in economics from Harvard, or comparable school.
4. A community college instructor of economics who has a master´s degree in economics.
5. A university professor with a Ph.D. (doctorate) in economics.
A university professor with a Ph.D., and who has also have extensive experience in business and government
6. The writer of the text on economics that the professor uses in his classes.
7. The economics specialist who is the most referenced in a number of text books on economics.
8. A Nobel Prize winner in economics (all of whom write books on this subject).
Levels of understanding Tools (levels of knowledge:
Level One: You don´t know you don´t know. [Unconscious incompetence]. Example: Playing Lacrosse looks like it might be fun.
Level Two: You know you don´t know. [Conscious incompetence]. You are invited to play in a Lacrosse team, and you experience the first game.
Level Three: You know you know. [Conscious competence]. A coach teaches you the fundamentals of the game and the rules, but you have to think the instructions as you play. This stage may last several years as you evolve from conscious play to unconscious play, depending on the complexity of the skill.
Level Four: You know so well you don´t have to think about many aspects of it, just as after you have driven a car for a year or two. [Unconscious competence]. You have played for years and most actions are automatic. One still accumulates more skill for many years in playing complex games, or in other life skills, such as conversation, or reading, or managing, or observation, or raising children.
Most adolescents are at Level One in the vast majority of Tools. So are many adults. Therefore, there is a great need for mentors to lead them toward Level Two, at which time they may be ready for instruction. Or, life confronts them with problems that shock them into awareness that they have been in Level One, and are in urgent need to move to Level Three.
All problems and goals are actually simple:
Life may seem difficult, but we breathe one breath at a time; to build a house we hammer one nail at a time, one brick at a time. Our problems look like mountains because we see and feel them in their entirety. But if we need or wish to scale a mountain we only do it one step at a time. If it´s sport we think it´s easy and enjoy every moment; whereas if we are forced by circumstance to climb the mountain to reach a desired destination we experience it as an arduous journey. But all life is just this moment, passing into a series of moments. All goals are attained just one step at a time. To attain a college degree we just read one chapter, or listen to a lecture – one at a time. As we gather useful Tools these goals and problems and opportunities [they´re the same] become easier and more enjoyable.
Sadness is normal:
We don´t always have to "feel good now." Sadness is a legitimate expression that our life is as yet incomplete, or unfulfilled, or that we are not living up to our capabilities, values and goals. But our life is always incomplete until we have completed it – death. Meanwhile we must live it as best we can. Partly we are sad because we desire too much – man is a wanting animal – we want our way, and we want more. But the truth is, we don´t have to have our way, and we really don´t need more. Think seriously about just preferring these things, and your angst and sadness will evolve into tranquility. Understand that all of us are limited, that we all need relationships to become more complete, to share our lives with others through giving and receiving.
Power (coping, influencing, achieving) derives from knowledge, skills [Tools] and character.
Power is the ability to achieve our goals. Character is commitment to the right goals. Skills and knowledge are Tools for getting things done. Character is getting the right things done. Character derives from possession of the virtues – such as trustworthiness (honesty), tenacity, courage [engagement], compassion, and wisdom. Character is revered above all qualities, and will draw all to its presence. Study the qualities of Gandhi and you will begin to understand the power of character.
The Road to maturity begins with a decision:
The decision is simple in concept and difficult in execution. You have three choices that will determine the daily conduct, and quality, of your life:
1. To be constructive
2. To be destructive
3. To watch the world go by
Choice number 1 is taking charge of your life in ways that will be beneficial to you and to others. It requires discipline and thoughtfulness. Included in this decision in the assimilation of Tools and the virtues. Though it appears demanding a constructive life is balanced with work, play, leisure, education, and time for developing relationships. It is a whole life.
Summary:
You achieve your life goals, solve problems, and pursue opportunities by master of Tools (skills and knowledge).
Complex Tools consist of simple tools.
The value of Tools is very unequal.
Two of the most valuable Tools are reading (as a paragraph), and finding the best teacher.
You acquire tools by observation, asking the best teachers, and master of the skill of reading.
Problems, opportunities and goals are simple – one step at a time.
Sadness and anxiety are reduced by choosing preferring over demanding.
Power derives from Tools and character.
A rewarding life entails the choice to live constructively.
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